What exactly does whistling past the graveyard mean?
Or...you'd think we would have talked about this by now
It dawned on me recently that some people might not know what the term whistling past the graveyard means.
The official definition is “To attempt to stay cheerful in a dire situation; to proceed with a task, ignoring an upcoming hazard, hoping for a good outcome.” When I was growing up, I heard it most often used as it relates to the first part of the definition; staying cheerful in a dire situation. And, quite literally, whistling whenever you walked past a graveyard. Because when I was a kid, I lived near one as did many of my neighbors. And running past the graveyard would have made us look like chickens.
But whistling … that was different.
In our technology-driven world however, the term has taken on an important meaning. And I think technology is a big part of the problem. Or, more to the point, our misuse of technology is the culprit. I was a newspaper reporter, then a TV news producer back in the days when news was just that. News. A reporter or news anchor presented events as they happened, found sources to speak to all sides of the issue, checked the sources (at least twice), then left the reader/viewer to decide the validity of the sources and make up their own mind about what they believed.
Feelings played no part in the narrative. Opinion was reserved for the opinion page or the news station’s opinion segment. Otherwise, FACT was the thing that mattered.
And news (outside of major events) did not occupy so much of our time.
But today, with the advent of online news, social media, and the immediacy of almost any bit of information (true or not), so many people base their lives and their “understanding” of the state of their neighborhood and the world on phones, tablets, and watches. And that would be fine if the faces on those devices were delivering facts, well thought out ideas, and keeping their personal biases out of the “reporting.”
But those days are well behind us. TV news started to make a profit (before that, it was a service), reporters became “journalists”, and the constant need for content gave us news that is now in large part, entertainment. I will never forget newspaperman Carl Langley’s response when a woman asked him how long he had been a journalist.
“Hell woman, I’m not a journalist. I’m a reporter. I work for a living. My job is to bring together all sides of a story, lay them out for people to read, and let them make their own decisions.” - Carl Langley
But too often the little screens tell us that the world is going to hell in a hand basket. Then they tell us who’s fault they believe it is, why they are right any any other viewpoint is wrong, and often in their bloviating (I can’t call it reporting any more), they fan the flames and make the situation worse.
Social media picks up the refrain, sides are chosen, in-depth thought and logic gives way to whatever talking points best align with the viewer’s feelings, and the battle lines are drawn. And because it is easier to align oneself with opinions rather than doing the honest intellectual work of finding the truth, we allow opinion to become the hill on which some people choose to die. Because they align themselves with faceless, anonymous, entities who stroke our egos and make us feel superior in our “knowledge” of the hot issue (whatever it might be), we become armchair experts. And when faced with facts…actual facts…they are deemed invalid.
And when the smoke clears, friendships are irreparably shattered. Families become estranged. And the cry of, “Anybody who believes other than I do on the issue is now dead to me. You are blocked (my heavens!), unfriended (oh say it ain’t so), and lower than whale dung (hoo boy, that’s pretty low)” is heard throughout (a small, minuscule portion of) cyberspace. And in the universe of our new technological life, that is (for some) the ultimate show of power.
You are hereby banished from my narrow world.
People bewail their lot in life on social media. Their world has collapsed. They are experiencing great mental anguish. Their family wouldn’t speak to them over the holidays because of their belief (or vice versa).
And all of this over a relatively few actual events or ideas. And that doesn’t have to be the case. Because the world beyond the tiny screen is much richer, more beautiful, more satisfying, than the artificial world that has made them a prisoner of narrow thinking and a more narrow view of the world.
Yes, politics is a corrupt business on both sides. Yes there is war and strife in the world. Yes, not everybody believes the same as you about certain societal constructs.
But there is also a world where neighbors take care of each other. A world where love blossoms. Where people overcome hardships and thrive. A world where families reconcile. Places where people still feed the hungry, clothe the naked, visit those in prison. There are still those people who have much and who share it with those who have little (though many of them take great pains to keep the fact quiet). And there are still those people who do good, not for their social media pages, but because they have the desire and ability to help others.
And it’s not that rare. There is great beauty and great goodness in the world. In our neighborhoods. And in many hearts. So I walk through this life savoring the goodness, helping others when I can, and whistling past the graveyard that is the vitriol-fueled, hate filled, anger driven portion of the world that has become the norm for so many.
So, I whistle, keep moving, look toward the brighter horizon, and thank God the real world is still there.
And it’s still a good place to be.
And now…a treat for you
NOTE: Ronald Kelly is NOT a sponsor (I actually don’t have one), and I don’t make a nickel off of what you’re seeing now. But Ol’ Ron is a heck of a nice guy, has way too much talent for one person, loves Jesus and his family, and is one of the best writers of my generation.
Plus Ronald has books.
And autographs.
And art prints.
And original artwork.
And lots of scary tales.
Plus, he will most likely sketch a little something in the books when you order them from him directly.
As a matter of fact, I have one of his signed prints (Dead-Eye’s Colt Dragoon and Playing Cards from his Saga of Dead-Eye series) framed and hanging in my office.
And you should have one too.
And according to his Substack (which you should also be reading) :
“Throughout the month of June, get 20% off your order of signed books, art prints, and t-shirts at RKHORROR. Just enter promo code JUNESAVE20 at checkout to receive your discount!”
So, click on the RKHORROR link above, or on the lounging skeleton below, and stock up on some summer scariness of your own. Heck, at 20% off, that’ll leave you enough left over for sunscreen!
My name is Thomas Smith and this is Whistling Past The Graveyard; an occasional newsletter about what I’m working on, any books/writing projects coming out in the future, and anything else that strikes my fancy. I’m honored you decided to take this walk with me.
NEWS
I will be part of the Florida Writers Association’s
Florida WritersCon 2025 faculty
My workshops:
How NOT to be Published
Start Small and Save That Novel for Later
If last year was any indication, this will be a great conference. Come out and join us!
Shameless Self-Promotion Department
Just click the cover and magic book elves will pack and ship your copies to you like … well … like magic. Or, order them from your favorite bookstore. Either way, I appreciate it.
Once again, thank you for stopping by. As always, I appreciate you. We’ll do this again soon.