Where Did You go For a Decade?
or...Why Did You Leave Horror and How Did You Get Back?
If you don’t mind, I’d like to say a word or three about my odd road back to writing horror since it has been a somewhat “interesting,” process.
John Denver once asked the musical question, “Ain’t it good to be back home again?” And I have to answer with a resounding Yes it is.
I got my start writing horror, way back in the Dark Ages when computers ran on kerosene and if you typed too fast, the pilot light went out. Back in the day when you mailed every manuscript in a manila envelope and included a similar envelope with enough postage to bring the manuscript back to you (lovingly called an SASE: Self Addressed Stamped Envelope). Often it would be returned with the first page of your manuscript on which you had typed Disposable Manuscript. But the hope was always that it would contain a contract and/or a check instead.
Ah, those were the days.
My work was finding its way into anthologies, magazines, and various other places. I wrote columns about horror for a few magazines. I was even commissioned to write a play with a major horror element as a Halloween fundraiser for a theater near New Orleans. And all was well for many years.
But as will happen, life threw me a few curves, a couple of which included taking care of sick relatives and a few other things we won’t go into here. Suffice it to say, if I was going to keep writing, it was going to have to be something that generated a little more income than short stories and columns, and generated it faster.
So, after doing the research, I waded into the wacky worlds of non-fiction, business writing, and ghostwriting. And I have to admit, some of it was fun. Like the boutique PR company head who told me at the outset, “I don’t want the clients to know I don’t write all of this stuff. Can you handle that?” Considering she had asked me the day before what I would charge to write descriptions of high-end homes for a real estate agent in Park City, Utah and when I said $225 each she said, “Fine. I’ll give them to you ten or twelve at a time. I need no more than three really over the top paragraphs on each, and I need each batch turned around in seventy-two hours.”
Turns out “she” would be writing about a couple of new subdivisions where the average home price was $10 million and the agent wanted a write up on every house for their company website. For that kind of money, they could say Donald Duck wrote it.
I billed her for somewhere in the neighborhood of $9,000 over the next two weeks and she always paid me via PayPal within twenty-four hours of receiving the invoices. I kept her as a client until the day I asked her to contact a client and ask four questions so I could write an article about her state-of-the-art yoga studio (I was never allowed to contact a client). When she said, “Just make up some quotes, I’m busy,” we were officially done.
And she was surprised.
Shortly after that I was hired to write the story of a man named Sampson Parker who cut off his arm with a pocket knife so he wouldn’t burn to death in a piece of farm equipment. The book was called, Unthinkable Choice, and his first words to me were, “The first thing you need to know about me is, I’m a weenie.”
Even though his wife agreed, I’m not so sure. But his story was fascinating, and I‘m glad I was the ghost he picked to write the project. Especially since my other option that month was a fellow who wanted me to write a trilogy based on his idea about creatures that were left in a warehouse in a large truck. They planned to take over the world. The truck in the warehouse was the only thing that wasn’t an EXACT ripoff of Guillermo Del Toro and Chuck Hogan’s trilogy and TV series, The Strain. And when I explained to him that what he was suggesting was plagiarism, he said, “Well I didn’t have them come into the airport on an airplane. That’s different.”
Sigh…
I turned him down because I don’t look good in prison orange.
During this time, I also did a little work with a Christian film company who used me as a script consultant to fix dialogue in their scripts. The head of the company said one of the reasons they received from people who didn’t watch religious films was the fact that the dialogue was sappy (uh-huh) and the characters were sometimes too one dimensional and too good to be true (uh-huh again). That was a fun gig, and watching them film was interesting.
About that same time, I had the idea for a story about a house that was somewhere between possessed and haunted. And some Christian fiction publishers were beginning to drool over what they were calling supernatural suspense.
And it felt right.
So, I wrote the original version of Something Stirs. And shortly after I hit the last keystroke, a publisher gobbled it up as the first book in their new fiction imprint.
“Yes. Pass the money and contract please.”
I knew during the first conference call that the horror stories I had heard about Christian publishers not knowing what to do with these books after they bought them were true.
Step one: Make a book trailer and get it to go viral.
When I asked how they were going to do that, I heard crickets chirping.
Step two: send me and an expert on the occult on an extended TV and radio tour.
For the record, I have bought more private jets from Brian Keene than I have made stops on that tour. And while we only know each other via social media, I’m pretty sure the number we will both come up with if asked independently, is Zero.
Later in the process, the head of a Christian film company expressed interest in making Something Stirs into a movie. He had gotten as far into the process as working on logistics for creating the CGI effects when I told him I’d like to hold off. When I told him I didn’t want to give the publishing company a percentage of the money when they hadn’t done anything to find the film company or really promote the book (OK, not entirely true…they set me up with an online interview with a woman who reviewed Amish fiction. I’ll pause while that sinks in), he agreed since they already had two films pending for which they were already contracted.
Skip forward a handful of years, and here we are. Something Stirs has been released (with a few added scenes, a little rewriting, and not a cordless phone or fax machine in sight) with a great book trailer. And it has done well.
Oh yeah, I have to give credit where credit is due. They hired Adam Drake to make the trailer and he shot it like a movie trailer. Not backgrounds, music, and some text like other book trailers of the time. An actual movie trailer for a book (click the link and check it out).
So, I am not surprised that he is now the 1st assistant Director on The Chosen; the first ever multi-season show about the life of Jesus Christ, and the number one crowd funded media project in history (so far).
So here we are. And I am where I should be. Living on an island writing full-time with a short story collection coming out soon, a new book underway, a novella already claimed by an unnamed (for now) publisher, and I have finished a contracted screenplay (with heavily supernatural overtones). Plus, I’ll soon turn in my manuscript to a specialty publisher who contracted me to write a book of North Carolina ghost stories.
It’s been a weird road, but it’s good to be back home.
My name is Thomas Smith and this is Whistling Past The Graveyard; an occasional newsletter about what I’m working on, any books/writing projects coming out in the future, and anything else that strikes my fancy. I’m honored to have you taking this walk with me.
From the Exciting News Department:
From Brian Keene’s Bluesky post: Paperwork is signed. Building is secured. We can now officially announce that @marysangiovanni.bsky.social and I are OPENING AN INDIE BOOKSTORE. Vortex Books & Comics is coming next Spring. You can read all about it here: www.gofundme.com/f/brian-keen...
Brian and Mary are two of the most well known figures (and cool husband and wife team) in the horror community. You can bet if they’re doing this, they have consulted the best, have thought this through until their heads hurt, and are on track to make this a successful endeavor. Bravo!
From the Shameless Plug Department:
If you’ve never tried faith-based fiction because it’s a little too syrupy (and a lot of it really can be), I’d be pleased if you give my novel, Something Stirs a try. I can promise you, there will be no, “Let’s all hold hands and sing Kum Ba Yah until the bad thing goes away” in this one. In my world, doing that might get you eaten by something nasty. Just click the link or the book cover. And thank you in advance.
From the What Else Is He Up To? Department:
It looks like I will turn in the manuscript for the Haunted North Carolina Coast book about two months early. Look for that one to be released by The History Press’ Haunted America series in time for Halloween next year.
My story, “A Little Cocktail” will appear in volume 1 of DREAD from Cemetery Dance either late this year or early next year.
My Short Story Collection, Other Places, is also scheduled to be released by Cemetery Dance in the fall of 2024.
I’m also working on a special novella project. More on that in the near future.
Once again as another issue draws to a close, I appreciate the fact that you took the time to come along. I appreciate all of you. See you next time